Cabaret Songs

Each title links back to the original post, should you fancy origin stories, links to our wider culture, blatherings etc.


Feeling the Feels

Every Disney love ballad from now on. No need to write another. Sheet music here.


I Am Sick to Death of Hearing About the Weimar Republic

Self-explanatory title, I think.


He Didn’t Say

From an unfinished musical. An entire relationship, start to finish, in about three minutes. Piano/vocal chart here.


Hey Guys (An Apology to My Balls)

A tender ballad about vasectomies.


Brian the Chemist

A surprisingly heartfelt ode to the virtues of amateur musical theatre. Skip to 1:40 if you can’t abide patter.


A Girl (Just Like the Girl)

With apologies to Harry Von Tilzer and William Dillon, this is mother-worship for our modern times. Sheet music here.



A devilish list song about a girl and her succession of dud men.


Southern Hemisphere Love

Because I grew tired of the assumption that June=Summer, September=Fall, April=Spring etc. Sheet music here.


My Fundy Christian Girl

A Hillsong lovesong, if you will.


Sunday Morning

This is how they really are, and not just for me.


At Christmas Time

A faux-madrigal for a modern Christmas.


Make Me Happy

A foolproof recipe for lifelong romance.  For me.


The “I Got No Right to Sing the Blues” Blues

For those enduring a life of freedom, peace and privilege.

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