Stephen Sondheim’s GREASE! – Sandy and Betty

There’s a fun competition happening on tumblr: write a Grease song as though it’s from Sondheim (or vice versa). My effort’s a la ‘Follies’.

Here’s a little story you may find bizarre
About two unhappy dames.
Let us call them Sandy “D” and Betty “R”
Which are just their real names.

Now Sandy has humility,
But also the ability
To bring out Danny Zuko’s tender side.
Betty has hostility,
That hides her true fragility,
And no-one sees it’s merely wounded pride.

Given how dissimilar these two girls are,
As friends they’d be most unfit.
Not so, I submit,
To wit:

Sandy is candy, but bland to the bone.
Betty is petty, but deep when alone.
Sandy wants to be petty.
Betty wants to be candy.
Sandy wants to be Betty,
And Betty, Sandy.

Dandy! Betty is smutty,
Or so she appears.
Sandy is putty
When pressured by peers.
Betty wants to be putty.
Sandy wants to be Betty.
Sandy learns to be slutty.
Now Danny’s sweaty.

(Dance break)

2 thoughts on “Stephen Sondheim’s GREASE! – Sandy and Betty

  1. With the benefit of hindsight, I regret my identity of “appears” with “peers”, but that’s what happens when you rush these things over breakfast.

  2. Narrative completeness demands that I tell you: reader, I won.

    Saying I won anything goes against every self-effacing Australian bone in my body.

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